mistsplitter | 🌸 seasons inbox

[ If there's anybody who knew about being their own harshest critic...it was Cloud. He might do his damnest not to show it on the surface, but the number of doubts he harbored only felt like they continued to grow. But for every doubt he developed in his life, he found the strength to squash another and keep moving forward. That being said, he didn't know if he'd ever be able to make it as far as he did without the help of everyone around him. The help he would soon get on his own journey across the planet. He has no idea what's going to unfold...only that he's had one future laid out for him already.

And right now? Cloud's deviated. He's charted himself a new path. One that he can see to the end hand-in-hand with the same little white heron who shyly faces her beau, a few steps away from him now as she asks if he means everything that he said. From his heart. From his soul. Cloud sets his hand upon her shoulder, gentler. ]

I do. [ A gentle sigh through his nose, his eyes on her. ] I'm no expert.

[ Especially when it comes to knowing how a parent thinks. So...all he can do is just let his inner thoughts out. ]

But, common sense tells me any parent would be proud of their kids working hard. Doing something with their life.

[ He remembers then, something that quirks her beau's lips into a light smirk. ]

Bet even my Mom's proud of you and that only took a few minutes.

[ Actually getting a chance to see her again one last time, and effectively getting her blessing despite the fact they would be on a different path from everything else they knew... Ayaka works hard, even when she didn't have to when it came to getting the approval of people. ]

[ Ayaka asked because she wanted to know what Cloud thinks. She believes he's not the kind of person to lie, and she also believes that he's not one to keep any secrets from her. What he tells her is the truth, that he did mean what he told their parents.

She gives him a small smile before she closes her eyes. ]

It is difficult to notice my own growth. [ And yet, she only wants to grow because of the standards she's placed upon herself and no one else's. Cloud has never asked her to be someone she's not, nor has Ayato.

Placing a hand over her heart, she lets out a sigh. Her eyes open, and she looks straight into Cloud's eyes. Yet again asking for him to catch her. Not because all she does is rely on Cloud, but. . . it is more that when she can't do it by herself anymore, that he would be there for her. ]

You would tell me if I am not doing well, won't you?

[ Ayaka will always try her best. Hearing what Cloud thinks helps calm the storm in her heart, but her doubts will always be there. So long as she wishes the best for her loved ones, then those doubts will always be there. At the very least... Ayaka needn't think too much about these doubts. ]

[ Sometimes it was like looking in a mirror. The desire for self-improvement. The desire to be enough. Even if Cloud's reasons have changed with time, the desire to be better than yesterday and be worth noticing by the girl in front of him hadn't waned. ]

Sometimes, I think... I wouldn't know how far I'd come if it weren't for the people around me. [ A beat. ] If it weren't for you.

[ There's a short pause after Ayaka asks him if he would tell her if she wasn't doing well, or that she'd stagnated...lost her way. The hand upon her shoulder gives a gentle squeeze then when he finds what he feels are the right words. ]

I would. It'd make me a bad beau if I just ignored everything- pretended nothing was wrong. Much as I think you'd know how to pick yourself back up, I'll still help you up.

Just how you did the same for me.

[ See? This is why Cloud is the best. ]

Then... we'll always look out for each other.

[ Even if Cloud only said that about himself. She'll continue to care for him, care even deeper than before as each day passes.

She takes the hand on her shoulder with both of hers, holding this up close to her lips so she can kiss the back of it. ]

We should get some rest soon.

Edited 2023-09-27 13:59 (UTC)

[ An echo of words that will stay with him for the rest of his life, as Ayaka kisses the back of his hand. Something about the gesture gets his cheeks to flare red- his smile is gentle nonetheless. ]

Mm. Every day.

[ Holding her hands, he nods in agreeance. ]

Yup. You got a big day tomorrow, birthday girl. [ Though... ] Talk in bed till we start nodding off?

[ If they hold out until midnight which is fast approaching, he can wish her happy birthday properly at the stroke of it. ]

Yes!

[ To all those things. Ayaka gives Cloud's hand a tug as she leads him back to his room, making sure to switch off the lights in the living along the way.

Now, he said they'd talk until they fell asleep, right? Ayaka only started thinking about it as they were on their way back, and she cannot help but wonder... ]

My love? Um, how much did you hear earlier?

[ She practically proclaimed to their moms that she wants to be his wife 😣 That's so embarrassing KAHDHAFJ not to mention, that bit about the family name... ]

Yeah?

[ "Um, how much did you hear earlier?" ]

[ Ah... Right. About that. Well, if he's being honest, and if he keeps his cool on the surface, maybe she won't get as flustered?

... even if the longer they talk about it, the more of a blush may start forming as they tackle this talk. jsaflkd ]

Started from about the part of getting hitched.

[ So...practically all the juicy details. But he squeezes her hand as they stop outside his door, sliding it open. ]

A- Ah...

[ Oh goodness, she's so embarrassed right now. Cloud gives her hand a squeeze and it's supposed to be reassuring! Ayaka would apologise for speaking out of turn, talking about the wildest dreams and fantasies, but... this isn't necessarily a fantasy, is it? They've talked about it before, albeit not seriously. Just that when Cloud's journey is done, he'd find a way to be by her side in Inazuma. When she asked before what he is looking for in a wife, he said it was her.

So what is she embarrassed about? Not the idea of being his wife! Just... she didn't think he would hear her say that to their moms, is all! ]

Um, please don't think I am in a rush for anything... I was just thinking out loud, and...

And... I like to daydream about certain things...

[ She lets go of Cloud's hand so she can pick up the nightdress she's set aside on her side of his bed. Now that she's done with everything for the day, she'll get changed for bed! When Cloud's not looking, anyway. ]

[ Once he's slid the door shut, Cloud turns around to see that Ayaka was making for her nightdress, only keeping an eye on her over his shoulder to gauge when she'd start changing so he can do the same and turn around. Time and a place! He'll get rid of his own robe in turn. Living in the warmest region, even at night it tended to remain a little toasty at times. As for what's on his side of the bed, pre-folded? He'll swap into a fitting undershirt. Nice and light. ]

You'd be surprised, Ayaka. [ Keeping his back turned, he hangs his house coat up before reaching for his undershirt. ] The amount of times I've thought about this kinda stuff...

You're not the only one.

[ Maybe it's because they're literally talking behind each others backs, but what Cloud said just now... He said it so freely. ]

[ She sits down on her side and removes the ribbons in her hair, neatly placing them on the bedside table, before she loosens her ponytail and lets her hair pool on the bed. It's after that that she proceeds to change into her nightdress, careful and slow. Not because she's delaying facing him or anything, but what Cloud ends up telling her is... surprising, to say the least.

Surprising and anxiety-inducing. ]

Ayato hasn't said anything to you that would make you start thinking about it, has he?

[ In her heart, she doesn't think she's ready for marriage just yet. She doesn't think she has the skills to be a wife just yet! But there is also the fact that Cloud's story is only just beginning. He has a world to save, his friends to get back to, and if there's any part of him that's still missing... she thinks that he should recover it all, because he decides to do anything beyond his world. Even if it means she has to wait.

Cloud is worth waiting for. No matter how long it takes. ]

... We. . . spoke a number of times before. The first time was when he told me that Thoma confessed to him, and he did not know what to do about it. The Kamisato Clan would have to continue with me, if he pursued Thoma.

[ She holds onto her other dress tightly, now that she's changed into her nightdress. The cloth is bunched up in her lap, rather than being sent to the laundry basket for now. ]

I did not tell you anything about it, because I do not wish for anything to cloud your judgment and priorities. I apologise for keeping this from you all this time.

[ It is a lot of pressure, Cloud. Pressure she's been carrying on her own because she thinks she's also doing it for his sake. Ayaka doesn't like keeping secrets from her beau, when he has trusted her with so many things, even when they were still friends. She tells him now because she wants to know— is he thinking about their future too because he wants to, or is someone influencing his thoughts and decisions? Ayaka doesn't think she could ever be happy if Cloud's choices, especially when it came to their relationship, were not something that he thought of, he chose, he wanted. ]

[ He's finished changing already, being much faster in comparison to his girlfriend as he chances a glance back over his shoulder. Not to take a peek, but as a more natural look to see how she was doing. If she wasn't ready yet, he'd just go right back to staring at the wall! But seeing her finished up, bunching her other dress more tight in her hands, she asks him... Has Ayato said anything? Well, yes, he has. But nothing that would have expedited his own train of thought. What Ayato had said prior was about the choice Cloud needed to make. If he can't have both; if he can't return to Gaia and finish his own story without leaving Ayaka behind, where would he go?

His choice was with a heavy heart. But he also knew where it belonged now. But that was also the worst case scenario. He wouldn't think like that, only that the hard choice would be made if it needed to happen. But at first, he holds to his silence when Ayaka continues to speak. Of how she and her brother have discussed the fate of the Kamisato Clan. The fate of Ayato's own blossoming feelings. Feelings that leave both the Yashiro Commission and the Kamisato Clan treading thinner ice. Would they have a successor?

And just how much pressure was being put on Ayaka? How long has she been harboring these feelings and uncertainties for? ]

...

[ She apologized for keeping this all from him. But he doesn't feel any wave of betrayal wash over him. In fact, by the time he finally opens his mouth to speak, watching her completely if she hasn't already turned around to face him yet, ]

I kinda figured it'd come down to us. [ As in...Ayaka and Cloud? To continue on? ] If it means everyone's happy.

[ He gently sighs then. ]

Guess it's my turn to be embarrassed. You better listen while I'm still feeling brave.

[ Sit in bed with him? Because as she was soon about to find out, these feelings? These thoughts? They started before he ever awoke in that field of cherry blossoms. ]

[ She is ashamed of herself for keeping this from her beau. She can tell him anything, after all! But Cloud doesn't even say anything about it. He doesn't shame her for not sharing. It doesn't seem like he's offended at all, either. Yet again, these worries in her heart that weighs her down were all created by her and not by anyone else. ]

You did?

[ She only turns to face him, but can't find it in herself to look him in the eye just yet. It was an involuntarily reaction from the surprise that his words brought her. If he'd been thinking about it too all this time, then...

The other times they've briefly talked about their future. . . it wasn't because of anyone else. Those were Cloud's on words and ideas, a promise made by his own conviction that he'd see her again in Teyvat. They weren't anyone else's.

Up, up... her eyes look at his briefly, until her gaze falls back down. Her hold of her dress tightens as she braces herself. And she looks back at him again, as if to ask permission if she can continue doing so. ]

[ Just when her gaze starts falling back down, he takes a quiet breath through his nose...only to gently settle his hand beneath her chin once she's looked back at him again. He's still feeling brave. It won't leave until he's had a chance to say what he wants to say. Until he's had a chance to say what she needs to hear. ]

Keep your eyes on me.

[ Because before they can have a chance to go sit down on the bed, he closes what little distance is left between them. A kiss. A soft, slow, meaningful kiss. It's all he wants. He wants her attention. Her eyes on him when he casts caution to the wind and lays it all out for her. ]

[ Yet again, Cloud catches her before she falls in too deep in this pool of doubt she's made for herself. Cloud kisses her, spreading warmth all over her body and making her feel alive. There's a second delay when she kisses him back, and she hopes Cloud would not fault her for it.

And for holding it back for some time now, a tear is shed, and drips down the corner of her face when she pulls away. ]

[ As Cloud pulls away, he notes the stray tear that rolls down her cheek, calmly smiling as he sweeps his finger up to catch it. No looking away now. Eyes on him as he takes your hand... A gentle tug, and he guides her to join him. ]

Here. C'mon.

[ Down to the bed they go! Getting comfortable, he crosses his legs and tucks them in before letting his hands settle in his lap. Another deep breath in through his nose, and out his mouth... ]

When I first made that wish in Nara...the one where I'd stay. That wasn't just for moving to Kyoto.

Even if I didn't know how I was going to do it, I just...knew where I wanted to be at the end of everything. And...

[ He hesitates, not because he didn't know what was true or not, but it's just like he said. She'd better watch him now. She'd better listen to him now. He's embarrassed. But he's also feeling brave. He's speaking from the heart. And he plans on making this chance count. He can't take away every worry or strife she may encounter or place upon herself, but he can still keep his promise. His promise to stand by her- least she see herself through. ]

I didn't just daydream of getting to Kyoto. I, uh...also- [ Blush. ] -kept thinking of "what if"s. Like what if we...had a family someday.

[ And just as he says this? His eyes briefly break contact with Ayaka's, even if his smile hasn't left before returning his gaze back on her. He doesn't laugh, but he almost wishes he did because of how awkward he feels. Awkward but...right. That felt right. ]

See? Toldja. Embarrassed.

[ What Cloud confesses is something she never thought she would hear from him at this time. Not that Ayaka ever brought up having their own family, because she doesn't want to scare Cloud or anything! She imagines this would have been a topic that would come up in maybe another year or two! Her heart is beating really fast, and the red of her cheeks matches Cloud's perfectly.

He wanted to be with her until the end right from the start. Ayaka never really thought about it before... on her end, she just wanted to be with Cloud, period. More feeling lucky to be with him, that she wants to give back to him each day they spend together. The idea of spending their futures together was something she only truly started entertaining when Cloud mentioned it, because she just couldn't accept those thoughts before since everything was too good to be true already. Now, as she sits on Cloud's bed and reflects on what he's just confessed... the path ahead becomes much clearer. Still far away, but definitely much more attainable.

She smiles softly before tucking her knees to her chest and resting her cheek there. She looks at him even when he's looking away. ]

I'm going to marry you someday. [ Not "want". She doesn't just want to be his wife now. More than ever, she's determined to be his wife in the future. She wants this more than ever now. ] Hehe... saying it like that...

I don't sound too cheeky, do I? But if it means making your dream come true... then I must do my best not to be too embarrassed about it.

Cloud Strife's wife...

[ She lets out a soft laugh after that, unfolding her legs and sliding them underneath the blanket. Ayaka can no longer look Cloud in the eye now. Instead, she's looking up at the ceiling as she leans back on the pillow, hands on her lap. With a wistful sigh, she says: ]

Ayaka Strife. [ //// ] Though, I suppose with the Inazuman way of writing names, it would be Strife Ayaka.

[ There's a lot of things that Cloud never would have thought he'd say, now or ever. Things that Cloud never would have thought he'd feel...now or ever. But something he's learned, especially since arriving in the land of Nippon? Was that life comes at you fast. It also takes you in unexpected, and sometimes sudden, directions. Wasn't he the one who thought that the script for their guest roles in that movie involved characters falling in love too fast? Yet another world removed from their own, here and now under another family household...and he's learning that if there's such a thing as "too fast"? Cloud and Ayaka haven't fallen into that.

His life's been changed. This path he's on now is forever different from what he'd embark upon back home. If he can accomplish it, he'll finish what he started on Gaia. But the end destination... As he sighs through his nose and lets the reality of what he'd just said to Ayaka settle in, he knows in his heart that he doesn't want to be anywhere else. In his heart...the very same one that belongs completely to the girl by his side. The one who tucks her knees to her chest and breaks the silence between them to say,

"I'm going to marry you someday." ]

Huh? [ He looks surprised to hear that. ... Maybe not "surprised", but, there's a sense of wonder in his eyes that tells the whole story. Like it's something he's been waiting to hear for a very long time now. They're far off from that day. But his inner thoughts are still his thoughts. Thoughts so close to his heart that they're kept safeguarded by the Shirasagi Himegimi. And he gives her his undivided attention, heart racing as she talks herself through her own embarrassing confession.

It feels like he's telling her how much he loves her all over again. Or that the roles were reversed and he's hearing it from her first, for the very first time. A feeling that never goes away. A feeling of waking up to see her and remembering just how lucky he really was. And how hard he would continue to fight to preserve these halcyon days. ]

Kamisato Ayaka's husband...huh...

[ Cloud remains seated upright, hands in his lap even as she lays back on the pillow. He'll join her soon enough, but for now? He's just content in watching over her. His bangs, having grown slightly longer since coming here, sway with the tilt of his head as his eyes keep a gentle glow from the mako. Neither one may have cherry blossoms or starlight hovering over them anymore, but the light in his eyes would continue to shine for her. ]

Oh yeah? [ //// ] Other way around would be Kamisato Cloud.

[ Though the thought has him curious now, a thoughtful and deep hum filling the air between them before he gently speaks, ]

The Kamisato Clan...

[ The content smile on Ayaka's face shows that she really doesn't mind what their names would be like, in the end. It is traditionally the woman who takes the last name of the man in marriage, but she also understands that Cloud would be marrying into the family, and not the other way around. What matters more to her is that she'd be spending her future with him, and no one else.

She rolls to her side to face him, some of her longer hair following her movements and framing her face from how she's laying down. ]

Knowing my brother, I think... he would like that more.

[ But... she thinks that's okay, so long as Cloud is amenable to it. And one thing she's learned from all this hiding, is that she doesn't have to be afraid of putting pressure on Cloud and keeping things to herself. She can tell him anything, and so long as her intentions are made perfectly clear, then he would understand. No more worrying about how he might react, when it hasn't even happened yet.

Unless Cloud says something, there is silence on Ayaka's end. She's just looking at him in admiration, basking in this feeling of how lucky she truly is. How tomorrow, when she wakes up on her birthday, Cloud is the first person she sees. That's already a gift in of itself. ]

You truly do have such lovely eyes... Zack once told me that I should look into your eyes more, after I had complimented his.

[ Cloud finally settles down with her, grunting a little as slips underneath the covers, on his back with his hands behind his head. He tilts his head so that he can continue to watch her, prepared to roll over to meet her just as she was already on her side in turn. The way her long hair frames her face...she really was stunning. Even moreso when this content smile of hers was for him alone. ]

Just feels right to me, too.

[ After all, he's starting to feel a sense of duty and obligation to the Kamisato Clan as well. But it's something he wouldn't dare shirk or shy away from. Matter of fact... ]

You know...back home, some people have a middle name. Even if most people just use their first and last. [ A beat. Mm. ] Kamisato Ayaka. Middle name, Strife?

[ That is, if they keep the Clan's name alive and well but she takes a piece of her beau with her when the time comes. ]

[ As he says all this, that smile of his hasn't left his face. ]

Oh. Ah... [ There he goes again, cheeks dusted pink. ] You think so?

[ And there goes Zack again, being his wingman. ~~Guess he got his wings after all.~~ ]

Y'know, my eyes used to be more blue...

I'm afraid I can't quite imagine what you mean... [ A "middle" name. That's the first she's heard of it! Her name has just been Kamisato Ayaka all this time. But she's definitely open to suggestions, especially when Cloud is the one making them. ] Then, would "Strife" be in the middle? Kamisato Strife Ayaka?

[ That gets her to laugh a little. Not at the idea, but because she's reminded of something! How bright her eyes seem to look, her excitement showing. ]

Like Kamisato-Strife Art Tachi Jutsu!

[ Clearly it is the same??????

When they start talking about his eyes, she inches a little closer to him. ]

Mm... I think I know what you mean. Little Cloud's eyes are very blue. [ The one in the photo with Claudia, she means. That's Little Cloud!! Though... that was because he wasn't exposed to mako then yet, right? It's a touchy subject. . . and she doesn't want Cloud thinking about bad memories now, so she does not say anything more about it. ] But... that is not what I mean.

[ The more she tries to think about how she wants to say what she's thinking, the redder her cheeks get. And she rolls closer to him until she can hide her face under his chin, or by his chest. Just away from his gaze at this time, because of how embarrassing this all is. ]

They're so expressive... and I think when you first looked at me, when we met... That is when I started to fall in love with you.

I just did not know yet.

[ He takes his time, patiently waiting for her to figure it out. Luckily it doesn't take very long! And that's enough to get him rolling onto his side for her, face resting against his hand with a little, ] Bingo.

[ "Like Kamisato-Strife Art Tachi Jutsu!" ]

Hope you know that's what my technique's getting introduced as.

[ As she inches closer, he finds himself instinctively laying down a little lower next to her, unable to keep the smile off his face when she speaks about his younger self. Little Cloud, huh. The fact that his eyes have changed due to mako exposure hasn't really bothered him. In truth? Regardless of the experiments done on him, if he'd successfully made it into SOLDIER on his own, that would have been a foregone conclusion anyway. Then she tries to elaborate further, nuzzling in closer until she hides her face under his chin. Her hair feels so soft and smooth against his skin, his arm draping over her until he's shimmied in close enough to embrace her. ]

Ayaka...

I like mine, but... S'pretty hard to keep mine off yours. Pure and bright... When you're happy about something, it's like they shine.

[ It's like she said to him before. "Keep your eyes on me." Right? ]

Something or someone, hehe. My eyes must always look so bright when I am with you, then.

[ Don't mind her, Cloud! Now that he's embracing her? She's going to take the chance and embrace him back, one arm wrapping around him while the other stays tucked close to her. ]

I love you, Cloud. Thank you for listening to me and catching me once again. And... now I know what you think, too.

[ u///u It's like he read her mind again, and they're on the same page. They always are. ]

All it takes is a thought... [ A single thought of her. ] And I'm already smiling.

[ "I love you, Cloud." ]

I love you, too.

[ He'll always be there. He's always going to catch her. Just as she brought him back to his own two feet so many times before. ]

Always will... [ And suddenly, with Ayaka nuzzled in against him and all, he feels relief wash over him. So much so that he can't help but quietly yawn, blinking heavier than before. ] I was thinkin' of waiting till midnight to say Happy Birthday...

[ Oh well. If he has to get up to pee or something in the middle of the night, he can whisper it to her then. adflkjs ]

Hm? What time is it?

[ Hopefully it's just a couple of minutes before midnight! Ayaka shifts a little so she can look at him as they talk. ]

I do not mind waiting.

[ It's just so he could greet her, but there's something exciting about that? She's never waited until midnight for her birthday before! It is yet another new experience for her if they did do that. ]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject